Forgive me Mike, for I have sinned!
Back a few months my Valentine 1, faithful kemosabe of nearly a decade, was sadly taken from me during a break-in. I must have been in depression as I replaced the electronics in my vehicle. There is no other explanation for why the naked spot on my windshield where V1 lived for so many years was now occupied by an even more expensive “competitor.”
Sure it had a pretty blue display, bars, arrows, dots, and the soothing voice of a woman telling me all kinds of useless information from its built-in GPS, such as where all the outdated speed trap locations are and that my front wheels were already entering an intersection with a red light camera.
However, every time it beeped with some type of warning, I felt lost, alone, dirty! Sure, it gets louder and quieter, sure it can show you signal strength, but in my heart I could only think “DAMMIT VILE WOMAN, WHERE THE HELL IS THE BOGEY?!?” No amount of gazing into its seductive blue eyes ever answered that question. How I longed for the reassuring, soft, red arrows of my V1 again.
Suffice it to say, my credit card has done my Hail Mary’s for me, and today I happily tossed that useless temptress aside and installed my brand new V1 back on my windshield where it belongs.
Brad Metzler
Vancouver, WA