Haircuts on Interstate 71

I often make the drive from Akron to Columbus, Ohio. This is where the State Troopers earn their paychecks and take yours! Being from New York, I find the wide-open roads of Ohio an invitation to push the speed just a hair. Ok, make it a wig!

Driving north on I71 at 5:20 pm, moderate traffic moving at a nice rate. I’m thinking home by 6:30. My cruise control set, V1 on watch and Metallica on the radio—Ah, life is good.

I have the concealed display mounted low, but in daylight other drivers still snuggle up on my bumper to live off my protection. I am sharing the lead with a mid-90s Mustang GT when V1 flashes the first warning—Officer Friendly working against my early arrival. I tap the brakes, as do the rest of the pack. After 15 seconds with no second warning, I go back to my set speed.

Instantly, another alert. Tap the brakes again. Wait…nothing. The pack thinks I’ve lost my motivation and pass me like I’m standing still.

Then it happens…full alert! This was an AMBUSH. Trooper 1 was off the road using radar; Trooper 2 was outside his car aiming his dreaded laser. If V1 had not picked up the first two radar shots, I would have never been able to avoid the laser—I had been leader of the pack.

Two of my former bumper snugglers got stopped for their haircuts. I got a safe arrival home at 6:35. I’ve done the math on V1, and I am a firm believer.

Gerry Murphy
Copley, OH

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